Death doesn't come easy

Welcome my friends to this blog....

Death is a means of a end, to put something behind you, to have closure to something that will never open again, and to lose people that we love. 

I am 31 years old, for the first time in my short life, I am in the season of life, where it begins to start saying farwell to the people that have loved us for the entire time we are on this earth up to this point. Over the past year, I have been witness to such a beautiful process, of family coming together to support one another, to care for one another and unite in such a difficult, sad time in our lives.  I am so amazed that we have SO much love in our family. We are so lucky and so blessed. 

My 6 year old and 4 year old understand death much younger than I ever did, and they know exactly what it means.  It means that people get sick, and die and they go to a beautiful place where they see people that theyve loved before and have gone before them and are happy and whole and perfect.  They know the people they have loved, that have held them as babies laughed with, tickled, and  heard jokes from, are gone.  

I see a new transformation in our family---- We say more "I Love Yous". We hug, we care, we go out of our way a little more now just to remind each other we still are here, and we still care. We find joy in the small things, a baby's smile and laugh, children running amok in the house and dancing and laughing, board game/ or "Penny Poker" time with our families.  It is during this time I reflect the most on how truly amazingly blessed that in death- we've been able to learn those lessons-- to just love and laugh and LIVE. 

In death- I've gained a new insight on faith and hope. Faith means believing in something you can't see, and holding on for dear life.  Hope is just as important. Hope is the means of wanting something to happen, but it can't happen yet.  it goes in hand in hand with faith.  I've hoped, for more time, for a cure, for things to help, for doctors to know what they are doing. It goes with having faith in what the doctors can do, and to have faith that God knows what he's doing when he takes our very best.  

Love: love is what happens when everyone came together, to unite and support each other.  Love is what you feel when you have hope and faith, and everyone unites to move to support that. It's such a beautiful thing, and I am so thankful everyday that I've been present and able to witness that for months.  Love is a constant thing that never changes, Hope changes everyday- but without faith, it's not possible because that gives you the power to move, and believe and become.  In love, we were all united for one moment, for a hour, a day, a month, an year, 5 years, 10 years, 25 years, 31 years.

Saying good bye is always hard, It is so sad, and heart breaking, I wish so much, and so often that I never would have to do this again but I do.  When I feel like this, then  I think of this song.... by mr. brooks "the dance" 

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

I am so glad that I didn't know how it would all go, and how it eventually would end. I loved each day I had with you, It's all left up to chance but I know I would have missed the pain, but I wouldn't have wanted to miss this dance with you- you made my life full- with hope, love, and faith, and laughter-- thank you for forever loving me as I am, and i can't wait to see you all again.Good Bye until we meet again.........